Grief flows from many heartaches: the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a friendship or onset of a health setback­. National Grief Awareness Day, observed annually on August 30^th, provides a crucial opportunity to recognize the prevalence and impact of grief. In this conversation with Brooke Leever, psychologist with The Villages Health, we explore the multifaceted nature of grief and find practical ways to support ourselves and others as we journey through difficult experiences.

Q.

What are some common ways grief might manifest in our lives?

A.

Grief is a universal and deeply personal experience, and there are many ways it can manifest in us. Grief can appear as heightened stress responses, disturbances in sleep or appetite, irritability, tendencies to isolate, feeling more tearful, or even more easily angered.

Q.

What are some common misconceptions about grief you’ve encountered?

A.

The belief that grief happens on a timetable. Early grief (the phase that occurs after a loss) can be the first 1 or 2 years (at least a full cycle of seasons). Time does not necessarily heal; healing depends on how we use our time and what we allow for supporting our grief process.

Q.

How do we encourage someone who is grieving? Are the phrases, “Be strong” or “You’ll get over this,” appropriate?

A.

Too often we place the expectation on ourselves and others to “get over it” or “move on” — if only we had a magic wand to do so. This expectation can further complicate grief and wellbeing. It is reasonable to err of the side of assuming the person in grief has heard many variations of those messages. A more compassionate approach is to allow space for a person to feel heard, no matter what they are feeling, and to offer support.

Q.

How can we recognize grief in others and provide support without overstepping?

A.

Often many well-meaning people who want to help will say, let me know if you need anything. Trouble with this is that the person may not know what they need, and what they need may change from one time to the next. People tend to offer more support immediately following a death or tragic event, and that consideration tends to dwindle over time. It is not uncommon for individuals who are grieving to have need for support and a kind ear months after a loss. Having compassionate openness toward a person goes a long way.

Find additional resources here, or talk with your primary care provider about how behavioral health services may benefit you.

Brooke Leever, Ph.D., is Behavioral Health Tandem Care Clinician Credentialed.

 

Leafy greens and long walks are great for your body, but chronic stress can sabotage your health. Whether you aim to lose weight, manage a disease, or improve or maintain your health, minimizing stress is crucial to meeting your goals. Understanding the impact of stress is an important part of the process.

The Profound Impact of Stress

Chronic and unchecked stress is widely recognized as a contributor to many common health problems, including heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. Stress puts a burden on the body and mind, and can accelerate aging and damage immune response, rendering you vulnerable to illness. In addition, stress can cause changes in the brain that may impair your memory and cognition and increase your risk for Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Stress can be explosive or slow burning. A life-changing event, such as the loss of a spouse, a serious financial setback, or a devastating medical diagnosis, can trigger a sudden bout of stress. Whether you’re laid back or high-strung, stress can affect your health in ways you may not even realize.

Is it Stress or Something Else?

Stress can manifest in various ways and may not always be easy to spot. Look for signs like insomnia, not just a few sleepless nights, but ongoing problems with falling or staying asleep. An unexplained change in appetite, unusual weight gain or loss, or gastrointestinal issues can also be warning signs that your body is reacting negatively to stress. Nervousness, pacing, palpitations, and uncharacteristic irritability are also common indicators of stress.

Quick Action Steps to Reduce Stress

Deep breathing and meditation can help you reset and refocus when negative thoughts threaten your sense of peace. Taking a walk, practicing yoga or other gentle exercise can improve your mood by reducing stress hormones and boosting self-esteem. Other ways to tame stress include engaging in creative hobbies, conversations with friends, volunteer work, or listening to music. If you feel overwhelmed, make a list of things you can do to get some control and empowerment back. Establish new routines that incorporate self-care rituals. Then give yourself a pat on the back for moving forward in the right direction. Stress doesn’t have to get the best of you!

It’s important to seek support if you’re feeling stressed, and to prioritize your health and wellbeing. Talk to your primary care physician at The Villages Health. Our care team is here to help! You’ll also find hosts of classes and programs that are free and open to the public through our Learning Center.